Charting Success...

When I first began dealing with depression I heard from several sources one of the essential tools is a journal, which is one of the reasons I started this blog. But the reason behind keeping a journal is to track progress. It's easy to lose sight of one's accomplishments. They don't stand up very well, in point of view, to time. In thinking on this, I devised two systems for tracking my depression. One was a mood graph. I won't go into details, but I have a point system to keep tabs on how many good days I'm having and how many bad ones I'm having. It also keeps track of how good or how bad they are.

In time I began to see a need for a second chart. This one tracked productivity. This one is a little trickier to assign a value system to, and I'm frequently modifying it. Again, I won't go into detail, but basically there is a point system, plus and minus, to track how busy I'm keeping myself, as well as penalizing myself for procrastination and whatnot.

Both charts have been on a tear upwards of late, which is great. I've had predominantly good days for the last two months now, which I think might be a record. This is also coming after one of the longest slumps I've been in for a long time. Most of this year, up until two months ago, things were pretty dismal. The days weren't overwhelmingly bad, there were just a lot of them. It gives further evidence to the assistance medication brings. I believe much of it is also experience beginning to kick in. I'm finding myself rolling with punches and coming back faster from down spells.

The next two weeks should be a great test. I won't have another full day off of work until the beginning of next month. This isn't as bad as it sounds, because some of them are sleep shifts which by default cover two days. But it should be a good test. I've not been working a whole lot of late, and have found myself feeling a little glum because of it. I find myself looking forwards to work, a feeling foreign to depression. As I've felt in the past, it's not so much that I'm lazy, or was, but that I just don't care. It's hard to care about anything when you're depressed.

It's feels good to care.