tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60335742012-02-16T03:12:46.000-05:00A first draft history of my struggles and victories against major depression.Jonathan Rodgershttps://profiles.google.com/103695304454228210294noreply@blogger.comBlogger181100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6033574.post-14314181851177408492007-02-03T23:01:00.000-05:002007-02-03T23:04:46.853-05:00

I will be leaving this site up, but I am moving over to a new blog. Coming off the Celexa and onto the St. John's Wort ended up being a horrific experience, but I don't regret it because it's lead me to a new line of treatment. I don't believe depression has really been my problem anymore, but rather a symptom of a problem. Read about it at by new blog, The Pure O. Hope to see you there.

Jonathan Rodgershttps://profiles.google.com/103695304454228210294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6033574.post-1158780973285936872006-09-20T15:00:00.000-04:002006-09-20T15:41:26.113-04:00

For a number of reasons I have decided to try coming off of the Celexa and moving over to St. John's Wort. This is an idea I've been kicking around in my head for some time now.The most fundamental reason is that St. John's Wort is an MAOI, or Monoamine Oxidase Inihibitor, which have shown themselves to be better at treating depression that SSRI's, or Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor,

Jonathan Rodgershttps://profiles.google.com/103695304454228210294noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6033574.post-1138738504252150352006-01-31T14:45:00.000-05:002006-01-31T15:16:16.496-05:00

Habits are good and bad things. We forget that sometimes. We usually only talk about bad ones, but we probably have more good ones than bad. We take showers or baths every day, usually without thinking about it, or why we're doing it. We're used to bathing. That's a good habit. A lot of habits we've had for so long we can get to a point were we don't even know how it started. When you put

Jonathan Rodgershttps://profiles.google.com/103695304454228210294noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6033574.post-1135710058263680642005-12-27T13:22:00.000-05:002005-12-27T14:00:58.273-05:00

My therapist once told me that the hardest thing in the world to do is to change. It's so difficult, most of us literally have to have a heart attack before we change... at least our diet and exercise. This I have found to be true. In fact, many people don't even change their lifestyle after a heart attack.I've spent a lot of time trying to catalogue and understand the roots of my behavior. This

Jonathan Rodgershttps://profiles.google.com/103695304454228210294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6033574.post-1135699307257241812005-12-27T11:00:00.000-05:002005-12-27T11:01:47.266-05:00

I decided to ditch the all black page, a little too depressing for a depression page. Plus I just realized I can change the code on the page, and therefore change the color. Enjoy!

Jonathan Rodgershttps://profiles.google.com/103695304454228210294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6033574.post-1135528770300790692005-12-25T11:37:00.000-05:002005-12-25T11:39:30.310-05:00

A quick note in regards to the last post, the other night I began to get a headache after I began drinking a caffeine soft-drink. I hadn't had caffeine in a couple of days. So now I'm wondering if the headaches aren't just withdrawal, but re-introduction of caffeine to blood stream as well.

Jonathan Rodgershttps://profiles.google.com/103695304454228210294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6033574.post-1135128968366523752005-12-20T20:07:00.000-05:002005-12-20T20:36:08.406-05:00

I have recently been suffering from a number of headaches. Some of it is probably because I'm cutting back on coffee. At first I didn't notice any physical signs of withdrawal, just a disgustingly rabid desire for more coffee, I suppose my first inclinations of what coming off an addiction is like, though I'm aware this is nothing in comparison to other forms of addiction. Why would I decide to

Jonathan Rodgershttps://profiles.google.com/103695304454228210294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6033574.post-1129060959352287792005-10-11T15:57:00.000-04:002005-10-11T16:02:39.360-04:00

Been a good long while since I made an entry, which I suppose is a good and a bad thing. Good in the sense there hasn't been a whole lot to write about on the subject in that time. Been the ups and downs, but that's about it.I have been in a decent slump for the last month or so, however, which has had me thinking on the subject again. It hasn't been the depression in the sense of not wanting

Jonathan Rodgershttps://profiles.google.com/103695304454228210294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6033574.post-1102365727064969632004-12-06T15:25:00.000-05:002004-12-06T15:43:26.710-05:00

I've been running on what seems to be a working depression for sometime now. It's been a shallow depression, if it even is one. I haven't really had a real depression in quite sometime now, and I hope it stays that way. But not everything is going swimmingly. I've had a lot of good habits broken of late, and while I haven't stopped being productive, I haven't been as productive as I like to be.

Jonathan Rodgershttps://profiles.google.com/103695304454228210294noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6033574.post-1092633013314409462004-08-16T01:02:00.000-04:002004-08-16T01:10:13.313-04:00

Went to see my psychiatrist the other day. He was concerned because I told him I've kind of been using my Celexa (my happy pills depression medication) on an as-needed basis. This hasn't been intentional, it's just easy for me to forget that I need to take them when I'm feeling well. After I don't take it for awhile I notice my mood dip and I start taking them again, then forget to and repeat the

Jonathan Rodgershttps://profiles.google.com/103695304454228210294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6033574.post-1090978453395726412004-07-27T21:25:00.000-04:002004-07-27T21:35:07.400-04:00

I've been doing quite well of late considering how much I have worked. I have not had a full day off of work since the 15th of this month, and will not have one off until this Sunday, the 1st of August. Some of the shifts are sleep shifts, so it's not so bad, but it's still time away from home and with responsibilities. Considering the hours put in (118 in two weeks) and having the family at home

Jonathan Rodgershttps://profiles.google.com/103695304454228210294noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6033574.post-1090295533511616662004-07-19T23:39:00.000-04:002004-07-19T23:52:13.510-04:00

When I first began dealing with depression I heard from several sources one of the essential tools is a journal, which is one of the reasons I started this blog. But the reason behind keeping a journal is to track progress. It's easy to lose sight of one's accomplishments. They don't stand up very well, in point of view, to time. In thinking on this, I devised two systems for tracking my

Jonathan Rodgershttps://profiles.google.com/103695304454228210294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6033574.post-1088919475552148322004-07-04T01:18:00.000-04:002004-07-04T01:37:55.553-04:00

Felt a twinge of that old fear that comes up now and again within me the other day. It's something that to some point has always been there, and I've never known why. What was it in my childhood, infanthood (in the womb even?) that something caused the great fear, the paranoia? I've begun to wonder if it was ever anything at all. OCD is labeled an anxiety disorder. Of course, like with all

Jonathan Rodgershttps://profiles.google.com/103695304454228210294noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6033574.post-1088374972321736502004-06-27T18:15:00.000-04:002004-06-27T18:22:52.320-04:00

On a roll... Been back on meds a little more regular of late, and it seems to be helping... again. As time goes by it becomes a little more clear how meds help and how they don't. It's a tricky thing to try and entangle, the physiological from the psychological. They like to feed off of each other. If I've learned anything, I've learned to get back on my feet a lot faster. I wonder how this

Jonathan Rodgershttps://profiles.google.com/103695304454228210294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6033574.post-1088002297792104182004-06-23T10:43:00.000-04:002004-06-23T10:51:37.793-04:00

Depression Strikes Back... Just as I get up I get smacked down again. And so it goes. I can't blame this last spell all on depression. It's been a rough year so far. Very rough. Car troubles. Health troubles. Overworking myself troubles. In a great sign of well-being, for the first quarter of this year I worked 40+ hours/week. And I could handle it. Actually enjoyed it. That's new for

Jonathan Rodgershttps://profiles.google.com/103695304454228210294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6033574.post-1071171814183945412003-12-11T14:43:00.000-05:002003-12-11T14:43:46.570-05:00

Depression on the Run... My lack of current posts is both a good and a bad thing. The good part is that, for the first half of my month's absence, I've been too busy to post. Maybe it's the medication kicking in. Maybe I've just been on a roll. It's probably somewhere between the two. Last half month was not so good. Not too bad either, though, just not good. Got sick... the whole family

Jonathan Rodgershttps://profiles.google.com/103695304454228210294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6033574.post-1068140431387410262003-11-06T12:40:00.000-05:002003-11-06T12:45:30.760-05:00

Black Mood.... Last two days have been tumultuous ones indeed. I'd been without medication for nearly month, trying to pin down my doctor who seemingly went MIA. Finally got a session with him yesterday and am back to popping pills. I really hate that. I hate popping pills to feel better. But... there is much in this world I hate yet must do anyway. Maybe what I really hate is lack of

Jonathan Rodgershttps://profiles.google.com/103695304454228210294noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6033574.post-1067965467986855792003-11-04T12:04:00.000-05:002003-11-04T12:05:25.940-05:00

A Beginning... A few years ago I was diagnosed as having major depression. It did not come as much of a surprise to me or my family, as I'd always had trouble shaking the "black moods", as my mother would call them. It took a lot for me to begin to deal with it, though I always knew to an extent that something was not right. But underneath the depression that sat at the surface was an

Jonathan Rodgershttps://profiles.google.com/103695304454228210294noreply@blogger.com0